Summer Break Arc
Conscious
It has already been a week since the summer break started. July will also be ending in about a week, but there is just one thing troubling me.
“I’m out of the bath”
“……”
“Kazu-kun?”
“Ah, sorry. Food is not ready yet”
“Okay. I’ll wait”
Ever since the stay-over with Renya, I have been unhelpable-ly conscious of Yae. I suppose, to be precise, it is the feelings for Yae. I end up drifting towards that when I get even a bit of free time, and cannot concentrate on other things.
“Ah!”
Because I ended up thinking about Yae again, I ended up slightly burning the tandoori chicken I went out of the way to make. I totally messed up. Luckily, since it is not like I burned it until it turned into charcoal, it is probably alright to eat.
After letting out a small sigh for a bit, I go on to finish up the remaining side dishes. I have to concentrate so that I don’t fail this time around.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
“”Thank you for the meal””
We finished eating the dinner that I made without any mistakes apart from the tandoori chicken in the end. After placing the dishes in the sink, I sit beside Yae, who is sitting on the sofa and watching the television.
Perhaps because the sofa sunk slightly when I sit down, Yae corrects her sitting. It is just that I wonder if it is my imagination that it feels like her distance is closer than before.
“Ah, sorry I ended up burning the tandoori chicken”
“Nn? It was delicious though?”
“I am glad then……but I will be careful next time”
I apologised since I have not apologised yet, but Yae looks like she did not notice. Or maybe she did notice but was being considerate of me. Only Yae knows the truth.
“But it sure is rare for Kazu-kun to make a mistake in cooking huh”
“True, enough. Well, there are occasionally times like these as well”
I rarely ever make a mistake if I exclude the times I challenge a new dish. It has been more than 10 years if I include the time I had been helping out, and furthermore, I have been cooking by myself since becoming a high school student, so I am accustomed to it.
“Is there something worrying you?”
“Eh, no, no-, nothing”
Yae squints at me since I ended up wavering in an obvious manner. But it is inevitable for me to end up acting suspiciously if I am asked by the person who is the reason for my worries, right.
After enduring the gaze from Yae for a while, perhaps she understood that I had no intention of saying anything, she sighs. Yae then placed her hand on hers and my forehead.
“Nnー……I can’t tell”
It seems she probably wanted to check if I have a fever, but it looks like she couldn’t quite tell. Well, I didn’t catch a cold after all, and it is quite difficult to compare temperatures with different hands.
I’m about to open my mouth, about to Yae that I have no fever and am alright, but before I even do that, the distance between Yae’s forehead and mine becomes nil. In front of my eyes is the face of Yae who is closing her eyes and concentrating. As I’m stunned by the sudden situation, Yae moves away during that time.
“Doesn’t look like you have a fever”
“Ah, yes. Err, I was just thinking about a little something”
“If so, then fine. But discuss with me if you’re troubled, alright?”
“Yes. Ah, I will go and get some tea”
The mildly blushed Yae looks like she is worried about me from the bottom of her heart, but I can do nothing but lie in response to that. Good grief, I am coming to hate myself.
But it is inevitable since it is not something I can discuss with Yae. I say for myself to hear, and for the sake of cooling down my heated cheeks, I open the fridge and blast my face with the cold air.
“Curse you, Renya”
I recall the face of my best friend who blurted ‘you like Yae’ and mutter by myself. It is because everything started going haywire since that day. Even the skinship just now, I would be unshaken by it if it was last time after all.
I do not know my own feelings. In the first place, I have not even had a ‘first love’ before until now. Even Yae, I thought of her as a precious family member. No, I think so even now.
However, I was told by Renya that day, and I ended up starting to be conscious. Over and over, over and over, I think about it in my head, I ask my heart. But there is no answer in me even now.
I wonder what it means to be in love with the opposite sex.
