Those Feelings Are (Kazunari Side)
“Hey, Kazunari”
“What is the matter, Renya? I will not withdraw the match’s prize, you know?”
In the house where I am usually alone with Yae, I am alone with Renya today. Yae is probably in Nishikida-san’s house right about now.
Having also finished our meal, we are sitting relaxingly by the living room’s table as an after-meal rest. Renya stuffed himself today as well.
And as for the ‘match’s prize’, Renya is going to treat me to a serving of juice next time since I won in the Othello we played before I started making the meal. Of course, not the 2 litres, but the 500 millilitres one though.
“No, that’s because I lost after all. I let my guard down because you were that lousy at racing games……”
“Fufufu, I am decent at just board games”
There are no reflexes or whatnot in board games after all. On the other hand, if a 10-second rule or something is set in place, I will instantly become weak.
“So, that’s not what it is. There’s something I want to ask”
“There is something you want to ask? Sure”
It sure is rare if I have to say. In the first place, Renya doesn’t have such a prefacing-things personality after all. I wonder if it is something important?
“How does Kazunari find Nakamatsu-san?”
“Yae, is it? ‘How’, you say……I find her to be my precious family member”
“Hmーm. What about a romantic interest then?”
“A romantic interest, is it?”
Just as I wondered what he started saying all of a sudden, that was what he was on about huh. He wants to talk about love stories, or rather, I suppose he wants to know whether or not Yae and I are dating.
“I said just now as well; she is my precious family member. Renya, you, too, won’t fall seriously in love with your Okaa-san, right?”
“True enough. But unlike that, you and Nakamatsu-san are the same age, you know?”
“Like I said, that is not the case. Yae and I are not in that kind of a relationship”
My heart pained for an instant when I said that and smiled. Things like these have been happening increasingly recently; maybe I should go to the hospital once.
“……then, I’m talking about a ‘what-if’ here, what will you do if I say I like Nakamatsu-san?”
“Wha-!?”
“Relax. I said I’m talking about a ‘what-if’, right”
I ended up standing up instinctively at those outlandish words that came out of Renya’s mouth, but I was told that by Renya and sat down again.
“It may be a ‘what-if’, but be that as it may, it sure is in bad taste huh”
“My bad. I, too, didn’t think that Kazunari would react to that extent”
Somewhere, the Renya who said that and casually apologised, ‘sorry’, seemed different from usual. Those eyes of his are not looking at me; it is as though they are looking right through to my heart……
“But you’re not in a position where you can complain if that happens, right?”
I could not say anything back to the Renya who responded with that. After all, he was right on the mark.
That’s right, even if Yae and I find ourselves to be family, we’re just childhood friends. I have no right at all to intervene in Yae’s love affair. Be it whatever kind of a man Yae decides to date, I cannot interfere. It is something that even I myself understood.
Having that reality shoved in my face again, I direct my eyes down towards the table. To think that I would get so depressed……but Yae is as important to me as my family……
“Don’t make the excuse of, ‘she’s something like my family'”
“……Renya?”
“You like Nakamatsu-san”
Hearing that single sentence, I had a feeling that my soles shook. No, the thing that is shaking is not my soles; it is probably my heart.
“Wha-, what are you on about……”
“You cherish her that much, and you have the desire to monopolise her. I think you call that love, you know. I don’t know why you’re bottling it up with ‘family’ to that extent though”
Even though Renya’s words are entering my head, I cannot comprehend them. That is not quite the case huh. I wonder if my brain is refusing to comprehend them.
“Oops, my bad. I actually didn’t intend to say this much. I just can’t stand watching the Kazunari who’s lying to his own heart……”
“No, it is alright”
“”……””
I cannot bring myself to look at Renya’s face no matter what. I wonder why my heart is stirred up to this extent.
“Ahー, geez. What a pain!”
“?”
“What I said is my personal opinion at best! That might not be the case inside you, but I don’t care anymore! All that’s left is, how you find Nakamatsu-san as a woman!!”
The Renya who scratches his head and says that is the usual Renya. A laugh welled up naturally at that sight of Renya.
“What, don’t laugh”
“Renya, thank you. I will try giving it a good thought”
“O-, ou. I’m heading into the bath”
Renya said that and awkwardly disappeared into the bath. I, who was left behind, turned to the window, trying to look outside, but I could not tell what was going outside because the curtains were drawn.
I wonder if I like Yae, not as a family, but as a woman.
